Scared as I am to take this challenge, I mustered all the courage I needed to write a few words down and just get on with it.
I am not new to this writing thing. I keep a journal since I was in high school; I have worked as an environmental blogger for a few months’ time; I have contributed an article in a local news magazine once; I have worked as news contributor for almost a month; I have also worked as content writer for years. For somebody who knows the joy of writing, these are accomplishments. They’re sort of my validation as a writer.
But life throws us a curve. When I became a mother of two pre-schoolers and a terrible-two (mind you, they’re all boys), I stopped writing in my journal. My writing stints were cut down from full-time job to part-time stint, until the only writing avenue for me was to write for a news writing company.
my kids my growing family demands more time from me, meeting deadlines were next to impossible. Eventually, the news writing company finally decided to let me go. I was totally dispirited, and decided to put my writing on hiatus.
The pause did not help though. The more I read books and blogs that were well-written, the more I itch to write. But my fears were just as strong as my writing urges. Where were all these fears coming from?
I was scared because at the back of my mind I tell myself I might not be able to follow through.
I was scared because most of the writers I follow just know how to play with words, and I don’t.
I was scared because I don’t know what is expected of me.
I was scared because I have a lot of things to say and share, but I don’t know where to start.
I was scared because I have trouble following deadlines.
I was scared because whenever thoughts and ideas come to mind, I tend to lose my focus.
I was scared because I feel I am not good enough as a writer.
I was scared because of the process that I will need to go through today to get to where I should be.
In spite of all my fears, I am still going to write my 500 words today.
I am still going to write because I LOVE TO WRITE.
I am still going to write because if I love to write, GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION.
I am still going to write because I am compelled to write something worth sharing.
I am still going to write because I know this is my calling; and to not write displays defiance against it.
I am still going to write because no matter how many times I miss the deadline, COMMITMENT IS MY ONLY OPTION.
I am still going to write because if I am not good enough as a writer today, I can be better tomorrow.
I am still going to write because, if not today, when?
For 31 days, I resolve to commit to write; to pour my heart out; to be vulnerable; to say what I needed to say; to un-edit my work; to just go with the flow; to find my voice; to restore my lost art; to slowly but surely become the master of my craft.