The passion card that you see on the photo best describes which state my heart is right now.
Truth be told, to be around with three, sprightly, boisterous boys all day is painstakingly overwhelming, if not insanely challenging. I find myself at wit’s end and extremely exhausted most of the time. I always feel like this mothering thing wasn’t made for me — that it’s only meant for the very few who are innately patient, understanding, considerate and loving.
But no matter how messy and chaotic my life is, I don’t think I would ever trade motherhood for anything else. Believe it or not, my boys are the best teachers I have. They’ve been teaching me a lot of things since day one, and they are even unaware of it.
A few of the things I learned (and still learning) from being a mom of boys are:
1. I learned how to go easy on myself. I used to be a mom who gets all paranoid and worry a lot. I used to have this “fear of the unknown” especially for my boys. Watching the news don’t even help at all. Though I recognize that we can’t do something about the inevitable, the least thing that we could do as parents is to simply pray and believe that all things work together for good.
2. I learned how to genuinely “seek” the Lord with all my heart. I’m a Christian since fifth grade, but I haven’t truly felt to seek Him with all my heart until after I have my boys. I used to think that when I pray, it’s necessary that I do all the talking. I realized that what God wanted me to do during quiet time is to literally be still and let Him do all the talking through reading God’s word.
3. I learned how to love unconditionally. I never thought I’m capable of loving my husband (I’ll talk about this more in my future post) and my three kids aside from their different personalities. When I was single, I have a picture of what it’s like to really love from experiences I have heard and seen from my friends. It was only after I got married that I learned that love is more than just a feeling; it is also a choice.
4. I learned that boys are just as emotional as girls… and their emotions are at its peak when you don’t give them the attention they need from you. I used to have this thought that girls are more touchy feely than boys; and this is because I am a girl. However, it was only when I had my boys when I realized they are sensitive, too.
5. I learned how to be a “psychologist” of some sort. I never realize how practical this study was particularly in relating to people and to my kids. Every time I try to put myself in my kids’ shoes, it gives me a better understanding of where they are coming from. The more I try to understand their minds and behavior, the more I am able to give sound judgment to them.
6. I learned that boys have “limitless” energy and it’s required that you provide them space for its release. In one of the books I have read (Wild Things, The Art of Nurturing Boys), it was mentioned that during toddler and preschool years, boys have insurmountable energy. They love to explore and with that in mind, it’s important to be reminded that they “don’t need to be tamed – they need to be understood, loved, challenged, and encouraged.”
7. I learned how to explore further. Being surrounded with boys who are natural explorers, I can’t help but be motivated to be the same. My thirst for learning seem insatiable, and the opportunity is just plain limitless. In fact, I have a list of things that I still want to try and learn. I would consider this a plus since I’m the type who loves expanding horizons.
So, you may see me doing tons of housekeeping, running errands to and fro, getting caught up in an activity with the boys or working in my humble work space; but trust me, my heart is as full as my hands are.
If you are a mom of boys (or girls), what has mothering been teaching you so far? Please don’t hesitate to share your learnings in the comments below.